INS: Carlos Cuellar (free, Aston Villa), Louis Saha (free, Tottenham), Steven Fletcher (£14million, Wolves), Adam Johnson (undiscl., Man City), Danny Rose (loan, Tottenham).
OUTS: Craig Gordon (released), Trevor Carson (free, Bury), Jordan Cook (free, Charlton), George McCartney (undisc., West Ham), Asamoah Gyan (£6m, Al-Ain), Michael Liddle (undisc, Accrington Stanley), Ahmed Elmohamady (loan, Hull), Kieran Richardson (£2m, Fulham).
Martin O’Neill may not strike you as a glamour puss but he can spend another man’s money with impressive gusto. Big Fletch is bussed in from Birmingham to prevent riots on the streets of Sunderland when they realise that The Greatest Striker To Ever Live has been relocated to Turin. Fletcher’s fee has raised a few eyebrows, but goals are his business and business is already booming. Adam Johnson also joins, recently described as “the favourite City player of people who don’t watch City”. He’s definitely dangerous in attack and has oodles of end product, the only question will be if the sight of a tiny Irishman frantically gesticulating can inspire some defensive contribution from the young man (Copyright Ray Wilkins). Louis Saha is shipped in, presumably in bubble wrap, to give the Physio’s a challenge. Martin’s best friend Carlos joins him in the north and Craig Gordon’s Sunderland shambles comes to a close.
INS: Jose Manuel Flores (£2m, Genoa), Jonathan de Guzman (loan, Villarreal), Michu (£2m Rayo Vallecano), Itay Shechter (loan, Kaiserslautern), Kyle Bartley (£1m, Arsenal), Jamie Proctor (undiscl. Preston), Ki Sung-Yeung (£5.5million, Celtic), Pablo Hernandez (£5.55m, Valencia).
OUTS: Ferrie Bodde (released), Joe Allen (£15m, Liverpool), Joe Walsh (free, Crawley),Andrea Orlandi (undiscl., Brighton), Scott Sinclair (£6.2m, Man City), Federico Bessone (free, Swindon), Stephen Dobbie (undiscl, Brighton)
Swansea have avoided the suspected post Rodgers hangover and Laudrup has dished out a few Rodgerings of his own as he gets off to a flyer in the Premier League. The Swans seem pretty unaffected by the loss of two of their key players last season as Joe Allen joins Rodgers in Liverpool and Scott Sinclair ignores the plight of Adam Johnson (and his own experience at Chelsea) and heads straight for the diamond encrusted bench at the Etihad. The exquisitely coiffured Rodgers replacement seems to have bought astonishingly well so far; Michu is already a must buy for Fantasy teams across the land, the always dangerous Pablo Hernandez comes in from Valencia, Ki Sung-Yeung was their record signing for about half an hour and comes down from Celtic to spray passes from centre mid. Other than Saturdays attempted lobotomy of Saha I’ve not seen much of Flores but he promises to be another good signing if he can keep his feet below head height. All in all a pretty terrific summer for Swansea, with the only disappointment being that Laudrup doesn’t seem to be considering giving player-manager a go.
INS: Gylfi Sigurdsson (£8.7million, Hoffenheim), Jan Vertonghen (£8m, Ajax), Emmanuel Adebayor (£5m, Manchester City), Moussa Dembele (£15m, Fulham), Hugo Lloris (£8m, Lyon), Clint Dempsey (£6m, Fulham)..
OUTS: Ledley King (retired), Louis Saha (free, Sunderland), Ben Alnwick (free, Barnsley), Niko Kranjcar (£6m, Dynamo Kiev), Ryan Nelsen (free, QPR), Vedran Corluka (undisclosed, Lokomotiv Moscow), Massimo Luongo (loan, Ipswich), Steven Pienaar (£4.5m, Everton), Ryan Fredericks (loan, Brentford), Sebastien Bassong (undiscl, Norwich), Luka Modric (£30m, Real Madrid), David Button (undiscl, Charlton), John Bostock (loan, Swindon), Danny Rose (loan, Sunderland), Giovani dos Santos (undisc, Mallorca), Rafa van der Vaart (£10million, Hamburg), Harry Kane (loan, Norwich).
Modric has finally left, taking his “is that a man or a really ugly girl?” road show to Madrid. In Dembele, Sigurdsson and Dempsey they’ve signed three undoubtedly talented attacking players but three very direct players. In Modric they’ve lost a player who could really dictate the tempo with his calm passing and I’m not sure they have a player who provides that just now. Adebayor was a key player for them last year and they should be delighted to have signed him permanently, taking advantage of City’s early greed as they desperately try to trim the fat from their fat bastard of a wage bill. Vertonghen is an excellent addition from Ajax, able to play at centre back and defensive midfield. Lloris seems almost too good to be true at 8 million. He’s a player Wenger was always interested in but thought would be unable to cope with the premier league. However, Wenger has hardly proved himself an expert judge of goalkeeping talent so Hugo may well prove him wrong. Moutinho would have been an excellent signing. Levy’s negotiating tactic of constantly reneging on previously agreed conditions coming back to bite him with Porto taking a leaf out his book and demanding an increased fee after Moutinho secured improved personal terms. Good.
INS: Ben Foster (undisclosed, Birmingham), Yassine El Ghanassy (loan, Gent), Massimo Luongo (free), Markus Rosenberg (free, Werder Bremen), Claudio Yacob (free, Racing Club), Romelu Lukaku (loan, Chelsea), Goran Popov (loan, Dynamo Kiev).
OUTS: Keith Andrews (free, Bolton), Paul Scharner (free, Hamburg), Somen Tchoyi (released), Marton Fulop (free, Asteras Tripoli), Joe Mattock (free, Sheffield Wednesday), Nicky Shorey (free, Reading), Simon Cox (£2million, Nottingham Forest).
The key addition for West Brom could prove to be the temporary capture of Lukaku from Chelsea. An absolute beast for Anderlecht before Chelsea decided they “just had to have him” only to let his powerful buttocks stagnate on their bench. A real talent with a wasted season to make up for. Centre backs should be Lukacking their pants (thankyou, thankyou). The baggies should also be delighted to keep hold of Odemwingie who seemed to be itching for a move last season. Formerly a real yo-yo team, it’s hard to see them yo’ing back to the Championship any time soon.
INS: Stephen Henderson (undisclosed, Portsmouth), Jussi Jaaskelainen (free, Bolton), Mohamed Diame (free, Wigan), George McCartney (undisc, Sunderland), Modibo Maiga (£4.7m, Sochaux), James Collins (undiscl., Aston Villa), Alou Diarra (undiscl., Marseille), Matt Jarvis (£10.75million, Wolves), Andy Carroll (loan, Liverpool), Yossi Benayoun (loan, Chelsea)
OUTS: Robert Green (free, QPR), Frank Nouble (free, Wolves), John Carew, Julien Faubert (free, Elazýðspor), Papa Bouba Diop, Abdoulaye Faye (free, Hull), Pablo Barrera (undisclosed, Cruz Azul), Ravel Morrison (loan, Birmingham), Cristian Montano (undiscl., Oldham), Sam Baldock (£1.2m, Bristol City), Nicky Maynard (undiscl, Cardiff).
Some impressive and also bemusing transfers for the Hammers. Allardyce has set up a big no nonsense reunion with Jussi Jaaskelainen. Undoubtedly in the twilight of his career but always one of those keepers you thought could have made the step up to one of the big teams. Alou Diarra is an impressive signing from Marseille as Sam looks to add some sophisticated savagery to his midfield. Andy Carroll is the kind of striker that will have the blood flowing to Big Sam’s Wee Sam and you’d expect that almost every attack will involve a long ball smashed towards his forehead. Matt Jarvis is a bit of an eyebrow raiser. A good player, but not good enough to justify his fee.
INS: Fraser Fyvie (£600,000, Aberdeen), Ivan Ramis (undiscl., Real Mallorca), Ryo Miyaichi (loan, Arsenal), Arouna Kone (£2.75m, Sevilla).
OUTS: Chris Kirkland (free, Sheffield Wednesday), Hugo Rodallega (free, Fulham), Mohamed Diame (free, West Ham), Steve Gohouri (released), Hendry Thomas (free, Colorado Rapids), Lee Nicholls (loan, Northampton), Ryan Watson (loan, Accrington), Nouha Dicko (loan, Blackpool), Conor Sammon (undiscl., Derby), Victor Moses (£9million, Chelsea), Roman Golobart (loan, Tranmere).
Wigan seem to have lost much more than they’ve gained as Diame, Moses and Rodallega leave the latics. Victor Moses almost single handedly kept them up last year and he was never likely to stick around a ship which, despite being made solely from lolly sticks and chewing gum, somehow survives Tsunami’s season after season. It’s a bit of a shame as, while impressive, he’s still not quite the finished product and is unlikely to become that on the Chelsea bench. Miyaichi is a player who generates a fair bit of excitement at Arsenal and he can only improve by spending a season under Martinez. You can only hope that his goal scoring is better than his shite banter as Arouna Kone takes the number 2 jersey despite being a striker. He managed 15 goals for Levante last season and might be a bit of a bargain at less than 3 million.
That’s our lot. We’ll be bringing you plenty more articles throughout the season so why not go ahead and give us a bloody bookmark eh? We’ll give you a prize if you fax us proof.
By Mike, @miketweetgood
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