No my name is not Lizzy and due to a long term relationship I’m significantly less thin than previously, however The Boy’s Are Back In Town.
I can only apologise for my Summer absence. I could fob you off with an honest “oh well, I was drunk for most of the Euro games, and then didn’t really care about the Olympic football” but no, you deserve more.
I WAS KIDNAPPED. But it’s cool, I escaped. I’m struggling through a severe bout of Stockholm syndrome for my Somalian captors, but other than that I am in tip top condition.
This blog will act as a pre season friendly, a jolly little affair where you excuse my rust and laud how good I look if you look past all the rust and decay.
There are several transfer rumours floating around Arsenal like a seductive cloud and if you’re honest with yourself they can be dismissed almost instantly.
Tiote/Cabaye: Newcastle will rightly want a decent fee to replace two players so pivotal to their team. Arsenal generally don’t like paying for things. You’d have to think Newcastle would want 20 million and I just can’t see us paying that. I also don’t think that they’re worth that, but if Newcastle let them go now they wouldn’t have time to get a replacement so would need to be compensated. It’s a no go for me
Dzeko: A player that was always linked to Arsenal when at Wolfsburg and a player I’d love to see in red and white. Realistically the fact that RVP went to United is likely due to some Arsenal intervention to prevent (delay) the “feeder club” headlines, so I’d imagine City are less than delighted that we’ve prevented them adding our shiny to their Arsenal player collection. Also with Aguero’s injury City are back into single figures for strikers, which just won’t do.
Cesc: As likely as the script of a pornography actually happening to you.
“what happened to you last night”
“well I was just having a quiet night in so I ordered a Dominos. Then a topless plumber turned up and gave me a blowjob.”
“Woh, a female plumber?”
“yeah totally, stop asking questions”
It’s not happening.
The other Arsenal transfer talk is that of Theo leaving. I wrote a blog on Theo previously (https://feetballs.wordpress.com/2012/05/29/walcotts-a-matta-you-a/) and my thoughts haven’t really changed from then. He’s a good player when everything goes well for him. If he’s in top condition and the defence plays a high line and he gets the best of his defender then he can be spectacular. In games like last weekends (Stoke) where the opposition play with a deep, compact defence he’s about as useful as trying to demolish a building by slapping some wet bread on it, then complaining that you missed the building and shouting at a passer by.
His assist record last season was made to look better than it was by Van Persie’s excellence. He was hardly laying down gilt edged chances every game, he was just getting the ball to a goal machine.
If he leaves then it would be disappointing because the fee would be minimal, but that would be it really. For a player who is so often content to sit in the background noise of a game rather than being the main event to be waiting to see where Arsenal finished before signing a new deal doesn’t sit particularly well with me. I wouldn’t mind if he left (provided the money was spent).
And that’s that for me. Thanks for reading and I promise to churn out sweet slices of blog pie this season like the bloody blog factory I am.
Follow me on twitter @miketweetgood and us at @feetballsblog. Do it