Monthly Archives: August 2012

Good morning internet inhabitants.

Today while lurking around the Twittersphere, like a man standing on the brink of his restraining order perimeter, I saw some of the usual Gooner grumblings.

“this transfer window has been fucking awful”

“if we don’t make 2 more signings then this is worse than last year”

etc etc

Now clearly this level of discontent is not unusual amongst the ranks of the Arsenal, but what was slightly unusual is that I was slightly taken aback. I don’t think that this window has been that bad really. I mean obviously if you look at one incident in isolation, say (hypothetically) a man I used to love leaving for a club I have little love for, then it’s been fucking awful. But as a whole, I’m a little more positive.

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No my name is not Lizzy and due to a long term relationship I’m significantly less thin than previously, however The Boy’s Are Back In Town.

I can only apologise for my Summer absence. I could fob you off with an honest “oh well, I was drunk for most of the Euro games, and then didn’t really care about the Olympic football” but no, you deserve more.

I WAS KIDNAPPED. But it’s cool, I escaped. I’m struggling through a severe bout of Stockholm syndrome for my Somalian captors, but other than that I am in tip top condition.

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Original entries were.
Nasri, Rvp, Adebayor. Terry, Barton, Shawcross, Pulis, Suarez.

Submitted entries are.
Chamakh my bitch up, Cole (cashley), El Hadj Diouf, Mo Gold, Arse and finally Oleg Luzhny.

Voting will close Wednesday night and I’ll have that bitch ordered in a heartbeat.

Merry democracy

May I start this post by giving my heartfelt thanks to all who donated. It was a truly magnificent display of generosity, the fact that much of the donations came from people who I haven’t had the fortune to meet in “real life” particularly impressive.

Donations will continue to be accepted until the end of today.

Luckily the wonderful Josh George pushed me over £100 (100 bloody pounds!) and out of the dreaded “Shawcross zone” and into the “by popular demand” zone.

Here’s how it’ll work.

Each person who has donated will have the opportunity to suggest their own entry to enter into the vote (eg Bergkamp, or Bumface) alongside the original options. Then ,once all options are collected, I’ll send out the final list consisting of the originals and new additions. Then each person will receive one vote each which will be weighted depending on their donation. So a person who donated £5 would have a vote worth 5 times as much as a person who donated £1.

Obviously with submissions, nothing that would get me arrested. Otherwise, the world is your oyster.

thanks again, you bloody beauties.



A reminder of the original choices.

RVP, Nasri, Bale, Adebayor, Suarez, Terry, Barton, Shawcross, Pulis.

The new Arsenal top has started to look at me with the kind of sultry glare which Prince would sing about.

This is where you come in.

I don’t usually get a name printed on the back of my shirts, in fact I never have. And other than a slight incline to have ‘Ramsey’ stamped across my back I would most likely have left my new Arsenal top in its deliciously naked state. However given the recent death of my Granddad from a stroke, and the previous deaths of two other Grandparents from strokes, I thought I might be able to raise money for a cause I’m a little too familiar with

So here we are, the future of my back is well an truly in your generous hands. Depending on the total donations recieved I will have a different name printed on my back, all suitably cringe worthy.

£0-£9 will get you RVP. A man leaving in disgrace, soon to have left.

£10-£19 will get you Nasri. Messy break up, he still calls when he’s drunk.

£20-£29 buys Bale. The best player in the world, ever.

You may be thinking “these are a bit tame”. Calm down young Jedi. The plot thickens

£30-£39 will buy you Adebayor; plastic furniture magnet.

£40-49 buys Suarez; buck toothed national anthem lover and genitalia impersonator extroardinaire.

£50-59 buys Barton; McDonalds pugilist/philosopher

£60-74 buys Terry; Great shagger, rubbish human.

£75-£100 buys Shawcross; Loves his mum, hates welsh bones.

And finally, over £100 would buy, well whoever you like really. I was thinking “Pulis”; the cap loving goblin prince. But we can have a vote if it gets that far.

Even if you just give £1, it would be cool to see how far this could go.

All of the donations will go to the charity. Cost of printing and the shirt itself will be paid for by me.

please donate here

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